Family Secrets

6 x 400′s? Whatever.

Sometimes I pretend I’m a ‘real runner’. Maybe you’ve heard of the type – they train, they fuel (eat) correctly, they do fartleks (speed), they care about how their body is performing.

Me? Well, I just look at my watch, calculate how far I can go based on the amount of free time I have and head out the door. Preferably before 10am and preferably when children are otherwise occupied. So far it’s worked pretty well – other than last year when I was working my tail off to break 2 hours in a half marathon & ended up injured. Still 2 minutes shy, but who’s counting?

So today I put on my ‘big girl’ pants and decided I would do an actual workout vs. running around aimlessly. I decided on a 1 mile warm-up + 6 x 400′s at 2 min pace + 1 mile cool down = about a 45 minute workout. Everything always sounds better in my head.

I drove my big kid to swim practice and headed to the track. Upon arrival I noticed the HS football team “conditioning” (aka – practicing, but you’re not allowed to call it that, nor are you allowed to require it, yet the number of players who see playing time are mysteriously the same as those who show up. hmmm) inside the track. My ego took a hit. I know most of the kids in town – it’s a luxury of my job and of living in the same small town For-Ev-Er! No biggie. I won’t make eye contact with them. They won’t make eye contact with me.

I did my 1 mile warm-up (slowly) – staring at my short stumpy shadow around each bend – SCARY! Sure the sun was just at the right angle to make me look 4 ft. tall and 300 lbs. but I don’t think the sun makes things bounce. Whatever. I completed 2 of my 400′s (just under pace thankyouverymuch) when I noticed another group of boys walking out of the HS to begin ‘conditioning’. The FRESHMEN! I considered finishing but instead decided my ego and my son’s reputation were at stake here. I left the track. :-(

That’s all well and good – but the best part of the story is my son’s reaction when I told him. ”Mom! You totally should have stayed! All my friends love you.” Which I smiled and said, aw thanks. And he responded “Plus – my mommy’s a runner!!”

I have bragged about my kids relentlessly here – but that was the best compliment he has given me lately.
They don’t care if we are slow.
They don’t care if we are 4 ft. tall and 300 lbs.
They don’t care if their friends laugh at them.
They care that we are moving and setting an example.

Here’s a picture. Because posts without pictures can be so boring.

2010 Bolder Boulder - He's a lot taller now. Me? Not so much.

Comments 4 Comments
Categories Uncategorized

Created for Good

3 Jun

I’m about to get all cheesy and deep on you. I have big/HUGE things going on in my life and I feel the need to purge a little anxiety in order to keep the balance. (see – I give you a little of my anxiety & we all feel a little wonky together – you’re welcome).

So…
I’ve mentioned lately that I have been doing some soul-searching. Okay, maybe not ‘lately’ but for the last year or so.
For a while I was constantly asking God (and you) “where am I headed?” or “What is my ‘gift’?”
You see, not only do I want to glorify God in everything I do, but I also want to thank him for what he has given me.
There has been plenty to be thankful for AND there has been plenty to want to scream at Him, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? WHY DID I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS????” Each time I have felt him answer “I will not hurt you.” And so it goes.

I believe we are all created for the Good. To reach others, to help others, to listen to our hearts and the Spirit in them.
I know there is so much more we could all do to help others. But I also know that there is a point when God says, “Good job.” and allows us to move on to the next chapter.
Whether it is resigning from a job you’ve had for years or letting go of a relationship or watching your child go off to college – I believe He holds us and loves us and thanks us.

Today I will attempt something that I was created for. I’ve been staring at Ephesians 2:10 and listening to His words “… doing good works that God has prepared us in advance to do”. There are some things that may have hurt from our past, but God knew all along what those works could do for us and for others. Abuse, trauma, divorce, abandonment, etc. are all AWFUL things. But there is a gift God has given – the gift of Free Will. YOU get to choose if you will use your hurt for the good of others or to harm, hate, and loath yourself, God and others.

As I spend my day – I will thank God for where he is placing me – for every step he is walking with me – and for every crappy part of my life. Without those sucky times, I would never be able to appreciate this glorious time of renewed spirit and confidence in what I was created to do.

What were you created for?

Comments 6 Comments
Categories life

31 May

Just sat down at my computer to ‘work’ – which translated to “anything I can do to avoid the actual job at hand“. Part of the problem is motivation (the pool is open), another part is interruptions (kid questions every 20 seconds), and part denial (if I write another discharge summary I am that much closer to being done). So why not make a sweet little list about what brought me smiles this weekend?

* Sitting by the chiminea with the kids – talking life, friends, choices, etc. Big things were decided this weekend – it was hard, but we all feel better.

* Making one year goals – we each made a list of ‘goals’ – Fitness, Financial, and Faith

* Laughing until we cried about what a great dog name would be and then using the name in sentences.

* Holding a two-month-old baby for hours on end.

* Visiting with cousins we haven’t seen for months.

* Making a quick trip to my favorite store Guitar Center

* Deciding NOT to make a daily schedule for the summer – ask me how I feel about this in a few weeks.

* Spending 3 full days with my husband and kids without any breaks. Sweet.

Comments 2 Comments
Categories My family

True ‘dat!

24 May

Been up since 3am – a lot on my mind.
Kept having swirling thoughts between my son performing for a talent show today and how to clean an entire house in 2 hours.
Deep – right?

When I wake up in the middle of the night I usually pray myself back to sleep.
Did that – but kept being led elsewhere.
My mind would wander too far.
Thoughts about how to move past something.
Thoughts about how to set goals.
Thoughts about what to do with a 14-year-old for the summer.
Thoughts about families I have worked with.
Thoughts about my future.

Nothing was too deep – it was 3am after all – but I feel the need to share something I recently learned.
Maybe I’ve already talked about it – it’s rare I remember what I’ve typed and I don’t have the time to read old posts.
So…
A few weeks ago I heard someone on the radio say “Only react to what you know to be true.”
I love that.
I thought I was trying to do that.
But then I heard it in a new way and found that it changed how I view most situations.

For example:
The family who is being discharged though little progress has been made. Previously I would have wondered what I could have done differently to help them make a change. Those thoughts aren’t helpful. The ‘truth’ is that I gave what I had to give and the family received what they were able to receive.

Another example:
Not being able to reach my running goals. I have been expecting it to just happen I guess. The ‘truth’ is – I have not been training! Not like I want to and expect myself to.

One more example:
My husband and I have been talking a lot about “faking it” (no – not that kind!). We both feel like kids who are playing grown-up. Wondering when our bosses/co-workers are going to find out that we are just faking it. The ‘truth‘ is – we are both pretty good at what we do.

I challenge you to ask yourself ‘what is true?’ about any given situation.
Someone you know doesn’t say “Hi” in the grocery store? What do you know is true?
Your child is screaming around bedtime? What do you know is true?
Your goals and dreams are changing? What do you know is true?
A relationship is disintegrating? What do you know is true?
Your house is a disaster and you have a big group of people coming over? What do you know is true?
You are going to miss your job but you know it’s the perfect time for a change? What do you know is true?

Try it.
Tell me what you think.

Comments 2 Comments
Categories life

double take

19 May

An interesting part of parenting (for me) is the ‘forgive and forget’ portion. I’m pretty good with the forgive – but forgetting, I often find myself returning to what I was originally stumped with and the process starts over – only now, instead of forgiving my child and the choice that was made, I also have to forgive myself for going there. Vicious little cycle.

For example, a few days ago we were having a discussion with one of our children about recent behavior. All went well – we decided on a consequence – and turned to forgiveness. However, the next morning the same child asked me to bring something to school for ‘special music’ day. After being asked if that would work in the middle of my day – my response was “I’m not sure. I still feel pretty disappointed.” My child’s face dropped and my heart sank. It was the truth – but it seemed manipulative as soon as it came out of my mouth.

After dropping off the kids at school, getting a run in, and eating a yummy breakfast – it hit me. I was getting ready for work when I realized – when I turn to God after I’ve made a lousy decision He does not say, “Hold on girl. You think I’m going to listen to your boo hoo after what you did? You think I’m going to give you what you want?” Nope. He just continues to love me. He continues to respond with my next request, forgive me, and let go of my past.

If I’m going to be a parent who shows love like Jesus shows me – I need to start somewhere – so I loaded up the instrument and drove it to the school where my surprised child forgave me with a hug, a BIG smile, and a “Thanks Mom. Love you!” as I got back in my car.